As I am beginning to write this piece, my little one is dozing by my side, her plate of lunch half eaten.
Now if this had happened more than a year ago, I would be worrying and pleading her to finish her food. But today, I actually brought her favourite blanket so she could comfortably have her siesta despite the food that lay there. It didn’t bother me one bit. Ok, well a little bit, but it didn’t consume me at least.
And the point that it brings me to, is; my daughter has moulded me into a completely different parent, than I thought I would be. Prior to her birth, as I was educating myself about motherhood from various sources (books, magazines, internet, friends and family) I had a certain idea of what kind of a mother I ‘want’ to be. Little did I realize that it was never about what I wanted out of this beautiful relationship, rather it was about how willing I was to evolve myself as a person. And this realization deepened after I got the opportunity to write for the Kelloggs #KhuljayeBhachpan campaign which was centred on the ‘buddy parenting concept’.
And the person I am today is due in part to the lessons my little one has taught me
- Patience: Children are not like a mixer that run according to the speed you want them to. They take their time to assimilate, understand and act on the things you want of them. And my little one has taught me just that. To be patient. Patient when she eats her food, patient when she is doing her homework, patient when she is trying her hands at something new or when she is telling me a story. And this virtue has helped me enjoy my time with her, rather than hurrying things.
- Forgive and Forget: Kids are so good at this. One minute they fight with their friends and the next minute they are fighting for each other. They don’t hold grudges or highlight anyone’s shortcomings. So much so that, even if in a moment of anger you say something nasty to them, the next minute they will slather you with kisses and hugs. I just love this quality of children and the more I try, I am able to imbibe this in my life. Motherhood has made me forgive and forget far more easily.
- Stand by Truth: Children never tell lies. In course of time we enforce our fabricated stories upon them. My daughter has time and again reminded to say the truth and I thank her immensely for that. Life is so much easier when lived truthfully.
- Accepting people as they are: No matter how tired and horrible I look, no matter how upset I might be, no matter how irritated I might be, she has accepted me for who I am. For her, I am the ‘best mother’. And this is what I have learnt from her. To accept people for who they are. No matter what race, caste, financial status they belong to, just look beyond the tiny imperfections and accept them for the greater good.
- Dance like no one is watching: Kids don’t care much about who’s staring at them. They are who they are and they are not afraid to starting dancing and acting silly. My little one is no different. She has often enticed me to be silly and have fun and it is such a stress reliever to do that. And these carefree moments of laughter, singing, dancing and being silly is what carries me through the day.
- Trust: Every time my husband threw our little one in the air, she trusted her daddy to grab her back in his arms. She would laugh and giggle when we did that and certainly all children do. They are not afraid or scared because they trust you completely. And they continue to do so even more as they get older. Motherhood has taught me the importance of trust in relationships. It has taught me to trust people and to allow them to trust me just like my little one.
- Don’t just say it, show it: When my little one is happy, she jumps up and down and claps her hands, when she is sad, she sits in a corner and says nothing, when she overjoyed with me I get showered with hugs and at least 100 kisses. Children always show and tell and I think in marriage it is even more important. My daughter has so wonderfully taught me that words are important but so is physical touch. Saying hello is one thing, but saying hello with a warm embrace is totally another.
- Don’t give up: Every time I saw my little one get up to walk, after perhaps failing 50 times, I was amazed at her resilience to keep trying. They just don’t give up! Whether they are learning the bicycle, trying to crawl, walk, eat on their own or learning to jump from monkey bars. Whenever I watch her I am reminded that even though life may throw a lot of challenging situations at us, we must get up and walk, just like she did. Don’t give up!
Honestly speaking, being a mom is the most bewildering, yet the most enriching experience any woman can have. And to deepen this experience we need to give a little and take a little.
We need to give our children the opportunities for carefree moments of bonding, empower them to learn and grow and influence their lives in a non authoritative way.
And as far as taking is concerned, we need to take into account their perspective, their point of view and take a firm stand to nurture and enrich their lives in the best possible way we can.
And this is exactly what I am striving for!
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This article originally appeared in mycity4kids